Grammys: 3 Most Awkward Lyrics

I’m a fan of pop-music, but some lyrics just make me uncomfortable. In honor of the Grammys this week, these have my vote for the 3 most awkward recent pop-lyric lines (congrat's fergie, yours takes the cake):

#3) “you’re on my heart just like a tattoo”: I keep having a mental image of the actual surgical operation making this happen: just TOO painful! [Jordin Sparks "Tattoo"]

#2) “you can stand under my umbrella”: I really love this song--so catchy, so “get stuck in your head”, all the way up until this point. Not sure why but I get an image of Mary Poppins in my head and just feels kind of weird cuddlin’ up to her at my age. [Rihanna's "Umbrella"]

#1 most awkward) “i'm going to miss you like a child misses its blanket”: I heard it was nominated for a Grammy for best song so its probably just me, but every time I hear this line I get an image of Linus in my head totin' around a dirty ol' blanket and I can’t help and either chuckle or cringe. Though I find this line really awkward, all said my wife and a few friends jokingly text each other this line as code that we miss them. [Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry"]

Its weird that it’s the “object” (tattoo, blanket, umbrella) reference that’s the point of the song that gets awkward for me. I’m sure it’s the very utilization of common imagery as metaphor for human experience that makes these such popular songs w/ broad-based appeal, but nonetheless it makes me feel like a kid in his underwear on the schoolbus (that’s pop-code for: awkward).

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Favorite Performance
On another note, my favorite performance for the evening would definitely have to go to Alicia Keys for "No One". I only saw about 1/2 the Grammys and was half paying attention on alot of them, and I heard Kanye's (which I missed) was awesome, but Keys' definitely caught my attention: strong, classy, right-on. I already love the song, i'd have to say i find it about the catchiest recent pop-song out there in recent months, and the lyrics strike on that classic unbreakable love that nothing can come between or tear-apart (in an ethos that really gets me thinking about Romans 8:38-39 everytime I hear it ["neither hardship or famine or death, nothing can separate us..."]).
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